HERE I GO

30 September 2016

Okay, here I go.

As silly as it sounds, my heart is actually racing a little as I'm typing this. But yet, here I am, just typing away, fast, without even thinking about it what it is that I'm typing. Weird!

It's been….hold on I have to go check and see when my last post was.

Okay, it's been exactly 2 years since I've last posted anything. Exactly two years on the dot (that is if I actually post this after I'm finished writing). I swear I didn't know the date of my last post. I'm actually pretty shocked here. I'm going to go ahead and chalk that up to this NOT being a coincidence, but maybe some kind of sign that it was time to dust the cobwebs off around here. But, then again, if you know me, you know I don't really believe in "signs" and all that other "it happens for a reason" stuff. Okay, so maybe it WAS a coincidence.

But back to my point. It's been a while.

I never officially made the decision that I was going to stop blogging. It just kind of happened. I was getting sick of not having anything to write about, but simultaneously feeling guilty because I wanted to be writing something. Anything. Before I knew it months had passed and I was enjoying having that space in my mind for other non-blogging thoughts. But then so much time had passed it became even harder to start writing again. You know when you avoid calling certain people because it's been so long since you've last talked that you just continue to keep avoiding the long overdue phone call, making the situation even worse? Well, that. That happened.

Again, that makes no sense and seems so strange because when I actually step back and think about it, it's only a hobby that involves typing words out. But I guess they're my words. And they're words that I've decided to share. They're words that want to be accepted and validated, and not judged.

A few months ago I was at work passing some time away on the internet (you know, like you do at work!) and the crazy idea of starting this blog back up popped into my head. The idea came and went a few times since then, until two days ago when I decided it was never going to happen so I quickly logged in just to hit the privacy setting button from public to private. And yet, now here we are; all over the place as you can see. And still typing like a mad woman.

I've been realizing that yes, these are my words. But they mean a hell of a lot more to me, than they do to you. It doesn't really matter if they're accepted, validated or judged because, after all, they are MY words. Plus, it's not like I'm sharing some top secret information over here. I can come and go as I please, right?  I just really, really, really don't want to get sucked into this whole "I HAVE NO BLOG POST TO SHARE BECAUSE IM TOO LAZY TO WRITE A BLOG POST AND MY LIFE IS SO BORING THAT I WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING TO WRITE ABOUT EVEN IF I WASN'T SO LAZY" type of thing. But, I'm going to try and not let that happen.

So then, where do I go from here? Honestly, I have absolutely no idea. None whatsoever. Hopefully I'll be back but, we shall see. I'm making no promises because after all, sometimes I am lazy and sometimes my life is boring…..and that's quite alright with me!!!

PS: If you happen to be reading this…
I'm going to turn off the comments section because….baby steps! But I did want to say HI and to say thanks for helping me dust off some of these cobwebs!